I tried to cheat the system tonight. The baby sleeping system.
You see, these past few weeks baby e has been kind of a mama lover. She loves to wake up in the middle of the night and eat, simply so she can get a few more minutes of cuddle time in.
She'll suck for a few seconds, then just stare up at me--content. After that she breathes in deeply, lets out a little sigh, and closes her sweet little eyes... Only to wake up (screaming) when I try to lay her back in her crib. It's sad, but secretly I like it because it means she loves me.
So anyway... Tonight I stayed up late talking to an old friend. It was so great to catch up. But then, suddenly it was 12 am and I knew I needed to head to bed.
So, I snuck up the stairs and crept past E's room.
For some reason, I stopped right outside the door. I decided I should dream feed her so that hopefully she wouldn't wake up a few short hours later for our cuddle session. See? Trying to cheat the system here.
Only... The joke was on me. Because here I am. An hour later. Cuddling my babe. Breathing in her perfect baby scent. Twirling her hair between my fingers. Whispering to her about how wonderful she is.
And, this time, I find myself being the one to breathe in deeply. To sigh-- because at this moment, I am perfectly content.
oohhh, I can so relate to you! I'm suddenly struck with the fact that Liam won't be waking up for these cozy night feedings forever and this time with him where it's just he and I gazing at each other with no other distractions is so perfect. And when he falls asleep nursing I'm reluctant to put him in his crib because I just love to have him so snuggly and sweet and innocent as he's lying there.
ReplyDeleteWhich surprises me since generally I just obsess about my sleep deprivation. But there are moments like these that really make motherhood amazing. In fact, it would be good for me to focus on them more. Thanks for the good reminder.
This is the best piece of writing you have ever written! You took me back to when I held YOU. There was something so special about those wee hours of the morning with just the two of us. Now, you know. Eloise is so lucky to have you as her mother. You are such an amazing mom. I love to see you with your baby. I wish all of your readers could as well.
ReplyDeleteYou are my sunshine. You make me content to be YOUR mother.
Cash is over 10 months old now and we are done with breast-feeding now, but I do miss it. It was hard to be the only one for those late night feedings, but they were also wonderful. Enjoy.
ReplyDeleteI'll try my best! It's really rough getting up sometimes...But, she is so worth it.
DeleteI think 7-month old's are a bit momma obsessed. My baby won't let me out of his sight right now... even if it's just quickly as I run to the bathroom. I sometimes get a little annoyed, but then I remember that it's just because they love us so much! In a few short months they will be so much more independent... I'm trying to cherish every cuddle!!
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